our stork was lost, but we found him!!!!…

infertility + 4 rounds of artificial insemination + in-vitro fertilization FINALLY = TWIN BOYS!!!!

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It still gets to me, and probably always will

Published by Kerry | Filed under Uncategorized

Nothing like jumping back into the blogging world with a nice, heated, gosh-I-wish-I-could-cuss-but-my-parents-put-my-blog-link-on-their-Christmas-letter conversation about the infertility world.  It was sparked by a Facebook post by one of my friend’s Facebook friends (got that?).  Said friend has adorable 12 month old spontaneous triplet girls, and we met through the NICU support group that Jeff and I started at Swedish Medical Center here in Denver.  She posted a cute link to a blog post where she talks about going to the park with her girls, and meeting another set of triplets (is it still a “set” if it’s a trio?).  And the comment that got me all fired up was one of her friends asking if she knew if those other triplets were a product of fertility treatments or if they were natural.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  

Natural?!?!?!?!?!? 

I hate loathe despise abhor when people refer to spontaneous twins/triplets/quads as “natural”, and I know I’m not alone here.  It’s super annoying.  And uneducated.  And honestly, it’s a kick in the face when you worked your ass off to get the child(ren) you have.  Do you ever hear anyone talking about whether or not a singleton is “natural”?  Nope.  At least I never do.  Yet there are tens of thousands of singletons born each year as a result of fertility treatments.  I’m guessing that those nosy people who feel it necessary to ask if Max and Wes are “natural” twins just think that (a) it’s okay to ask someone about their sex life (which is basically what it is- when is the last time you asked a random parent of one if they had sex to get their little boy or girl?), (b) are just really intrigued by the whole multiples thing, or (c) want to jump down my/our throat about how it’s going against “God’s plan” to do something so drastic to become a parent.

Alternately, I’m sure it’s super duper annoying for my friend to be asked time and time again if her girls are the product of fertility treatments.  I mean seriously – whose freaking business is that?!?!  I will admit that since becoming a parent of twins, I often find myself wondering if other sets of twins or triplets were conceived via fertility treatments, or if their parents just got really lucky.  But I think that’s normal, right?  Either way, I obviously have no problem talking about how our boys were conceived.  I’m not ashamed of it, I’m certainly proud, and so very thankful that the science exists.  I’m actually going to be featured talking about our infertility journey, and about infertility in general on a podcast this Wednesday (my first ever!) on a great “Mom” blog, (over)thinkingmom, so look for the podcast, and subsequent podpost, later this week.

Just like I will never forget what we went through with the early delivery of our boys, and everything that happened afterwards with their NICU stay, my PPD/PTSD, and our marriage issues, I don’t think I will ever forget the pain and heartache and sadness we felt leading up to that point.  Infertility is a bitch.  A dirty little bitch (sorry Mom).  And shame on people who automatically assume that we went against nature or “God’s plan”, or whatever, just because we were “selfish” and we did something that couples decide to do every single day – have their own biological baby (or babies).

Oh, and one day I *will* catch up with December, January, and February (including Christmas, new niece, and 2nd birthday photos!) posts…just not today.

March 7th, 2011

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