One day at a time

Published by Kerry | Filed under Uncategorized

My first EMDR session went really well.  We really focused on visualization – mostly thinking about positive things, happy places, blah, blah, blah.  My therapist was basically putting me in a place where I felt “safe” and loved – mostly because we will come back to that place if/when I start freaking out when she asks me to go to the not-so-safe places I’ve gone (in my head) lately.  I’ll spare you the details of the entire hour, but will tell you that I really do think this is going to work.  Last night was the first night in a few days that I haven’t had a nightmare about losing Max & Wes (and/or Jeff), and let me tell you – that is an accomplishment in and of itself.  I haven’t talked about the nightmares here because they are actually quite disturbing, and I really don’t want to worry y’all more than I already have (some of you anyway).  Just know that I’m doing this (going to weekly therapy) because I want to get better.   I need to get better.  I promised myself (and my husband) that if we were lucky enough to have kids someday that I would be the best mommy in the world, and I cannot be that if I’m constantly worrying and on edge that something is going to eventually take me away from my children. 

Speaking of those two little monkeys, they are just cute as ever (in my completely biased opinion).  Max is getting two more teeth (his two front top teeth), only one is coming in a lot faster than the other.  He has been crazy grumpy lately, and it’s just so sad.  He’s always so happy-go-lucky, but not when he’s getting teeth!  Jeff and I both have to try really hard to get him to smile, and that’s just so unlike our little guy.  He has learned something new though – he waves “bye bye” when you wave bye-bye to him – only instead of a real “wave”, he does the up-and-down arm clamp (think the Florida Gators gesture).  It’s hilarious.  Max has also been babbling a lot more, saying “dadadada” (and actually knowing who “dadadada” is), and other random one or two syllable words/sounds.  His favorite thing in the world is still watching his puppy play with his rope, Hippo, or ball.  There is NOTHING that can make that kid laugh and smile more than Rex.  They are going to be best friends.  =)

Wes is also getting a new tooth (on top), but it’s one of his eye teeth (I think that’s what they’re called – the vampire teeth, LOL).  That’s going to look…interesting – especially with his little widow’s peak.  We can start calling him Eddie Munster!  Jeff and I didn’t even know he was teething (other than the drool), and I think getting teeth just doesn’t bother him because he’s used to the pain of acid reflux.  How sad is that?  Poor little dude – he’s so tough.  Wes is babbling more and more, and sometimes carries on complete “conversations” with himself.  Gee, I wonder who he takes after.  =) 

I caught Max smiling, so I *had* to take a photo

I also caught him scaling the bed, stalking his furry brother

Doesn't he look like he just did something really naughty??

Chair = the most expensive "teether" we've purchased to date

Our tough guy showing off his latest battle wound

"Who me?!?"

Wes cruising around the living room

Our boys playing together (awwww)

My super lame attempt at getting M&W to stay still for two seconds