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What was *your* first reaction?
Published by Kerry | Filed under Uncategorized
Last week, Jim and Michelle Duggar welcomed their 19th (yes, NINETEENTH) child into this world. As an infertile, and especially knowing that there are women out there who will never experience giving birth to one kid (let alone nineteen!!), she just plain pisses me off sometimes. But last week, she and her husband became “one of us”.
What was my first reaction when I heard the news?
I was absolutely heartbroken for the family. And for sweet little Josie. And I knew what was coming. I knew it. A whole SLEW of people talking about her as if she now had a reason to stop having babies. “Maybe NOW she’s learned her lesson” or “I wonder what she did to make that baby come early”. I had a whole lot to say about it, but found that a fellow preemie mom, Trish, wrote this AMAZING blog post last weekend that pretty much sums up how I feel about the situation – the media hype, the misconceptions, and the glamorization (is that even a word?) of having a baby prematurely.
Let me know what you think.
Kerry
13 Responses to “What was *your* first reaction?”
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December 16th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Did their baby die? If so, I feel for them, but in general, I think they are socially irresponsible.
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December 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Ok, so I just read Trish’s blog. I am filled in. I still think they are socially irresponsible!! I feel bad for them, but…DAMN!!! Stop having kids!! Just because you CAN have 19 doesn’t mean you SHOULD!!!!
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December 16th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
My first reactions were “WOW!! #19. I hope that she is going to be okay. 25 weeks is very little.”
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December 16th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I completely agree with your friend Trish. Just because I maybe don’t completely agree with their choices in life, it doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to say such hateful things about their daughter’s premature birth. I find it ironic that often those who cry from the rooftops about their “rights” to infertility treatments to have a child are often the same who then turn and bash people, like the Duggars, who exercise their “rights” to have a large family.
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December 16th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
WELL…..I think that it is very hard on the body to have that many children, but the family is very stable and the kids are very well taken care of. They are teaching their children morals and values. The family is financially stable and they have a good support system. An early birth can happen to ANYONE and thank GOD that we have the medical advances to care for early peanuts! I have been in the NICU for the last few weeks, and every shift I am thanking GOD that I didn’t have to go through what these families go through. No matter how early a baby is born they are still 100% a blessing!
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December 16th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I thought it was so sad when I heard about the premature birth.
I would not say hateful things about them (as some people say about “us”, the people who use ART to have a family), but I hope that this is maybe a wakeup call to have her think about not having anymore since she was blessed with 19 kids.
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December 16th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I feel bad that they had a preemie. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I don’t see the preemie as a “see, you shouldn’t have more kids” lesson. I do think it’s socially irresponsible to have that many kids, though. For environmental reasons.
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December 16th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
I’m with Ashley on this one. =)
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December 16th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
I don’t think they are socially irresponsible at all! They have well behaved kids. They are teaching them morals and values. I think our society needs more people like that. They also take care of their family financially and aren’t on welfare. As long as they are taking care of their kids….I see no wrong doing.
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December 16th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
When I first heard she was pregnant, I think I made a FB post asking WTF… But it was more of my jealousy for not being able to get pregnant without any outside help. Some people just have the genes, I guess… I read somewhere that she went on the Pill after her first baby, conceived without knowing it, and then miscarried because she remained on the Pill for months. I believe this lead to their choice to not use any formal forms of birth control. (Whether the Pill caused her miscarriage, who knows. But that is what feels true to them.) I don’t think they intentionally think, “Hey! Let’s have as many babies as we can!!!” Yes, they could rock the Rhythm Method, and I’m sure they could avoid pregnancy if they really wanted to, but I think, for me, it still comes back to jealousy. My own. Even though I just had twins and feel so lucky. Even though I no longer hate my friends (much) who got pregnant so easily when I couldn’t. I still wish that I could “accidentally” get pregnant without trying. I don’t think it’s my business about what their family chooses to do. They are debt free, their kids seem like good people, they aren’t looking for handouts or being preachy about their lifestyle. I guess having so many kids you have to do 20 loads of laundry per day may be taxing on the environment, but so is owning a Hummer. Loads of people are socially irresponsible in far worse ways. And I can think of far worse people to have, raise, and be responsible for 19 kids… and counting.
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December 16th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
My heart breaks for anyone going through that – first child or 19th.
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December 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
my first thought: “i wonder how they’re going to use God and the bible to justify this.” i don’t mean that flippantly, but i am really curious. i know that their justification for having countless kids is that they believe that they should have as many children as god will provide, and that birth control is against god’s will. so i wonder what they’re going to say god’s plan or reasoning behind this birth is.
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December 17th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I do have issues with the social irresponsibility aspect. I’m also not sold on the fact that you can intimately know all 19 of your children. But my issues with them and their choices don’t carry over to any ill will or deserving on their part for their daughter’s premature birth. IF she’s going to continue to get pregnant, I would wish a healthy and full pregnancy for the child’s sake. And I hope little Josie pulls through and that they are able to move through this as successfully as you and Jeff did with the boys. I highly doubt it would have any bearing on whether or not they have further children.
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