Thursday – We spent a couple of hours outside with our boys, enjoying the crisp fall weather while the fire department inspected our house to make sure we didn’t have a gas leak, carbon monoxide, or radon.  We will never know for sure, but we think the smell was the glue or solvent fumes coming over from our next-door neighbor’s (dead guy, for those of you who’ve heard us talk about him) hardwood floor installation.  Max and Wes LOVED the flashing lights of the fire truck, and we were really relieved that it wasn’t anything serious – better to be safe than sorry, right?

Friday – My sis flew in for the weekend!  Before I went to pick her up from the airport, Jeff and I took advantage of the beautiful night to take some pictures of our favorite little dudes.

I went to pick Kristy up from the airport Friday night, and we went straight to Michael Jackson’s This Is It – and it was sooooo good!  I’m so glad I could count on my sis to see the movie with me (and enjoy it as much as I did), because God knows Jeff would have never watched it with me.  A little Kerry trivia for those of you who don’t know my love for MJ – in elementary school, I once got my name written on the chalkboard with three, yes THREE, checkmarks for insisting that Michael Jackson was my brother.  The teacher wanted me to tell everyone that I lying about the “fact” that he was my brother, and I refused – so I stayed after school for almost an hour.  Good times.

Friday night was a rough one for the boys.  Kris and I came home to Jeff cuddled on the couch with Max and Wes (Kristy wasn’t upset by that at all, that way she didn’t have to wait until morning to see her little nephews).  They both would NOT sleep to save their lives, and we couldn’t figure out why…until we saw this.

Wes's first teeth

We haven’t been able to get a good shot of the inside of Max’s mouth, but it pretty much looks the same.  Ouch!  That would certainly explain why our normally-good-sleepers are VERY fussy and inconsolable lately.  Not very good timing, considering I was just bragging to Kristy about how adorable and sweet they were both being lately…

Saturday - The five (six, including Rexy) of us enjoyed some time with our little dudes in the morning, and then headed over to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch outside.  It was in the 70’s yesterday, which is almost unheard of this time of year (in Colorado), and boy did we soak up some sun! 

More pictures to come later today…

Kerry

Maybe Jeff can fix the alignment (I gave up), but I’ve been meaning to post these pictures for awhile now, and just kept forgetting.  Before photo courtesy of K23 Photography and second photo courtesy of Jamie Schwaberow.

Kerry

November is Prematurity Awareness Month

Did any of you know this???  I didn’t until just a few months ago when I received an invitation to the March of Dimes Signature Chefs Auction (which is tomorrow here in Denver).  I would have LOVED the opportunity to attend this amazing fundraising event, but an individual seat was $150, and we just couldn’t afford for both Jeff and I to go.  =(

Had Max and Wes not been born 10 weeks early, I probably never would have known that 543,000 babies are born prematurely each year in our country.  That’s one in eight babies.  Isn’t that insane?

There are so many things to say about preemies – the whole concept of a “preemie” is hard for a lot of people to grasp.  Hell, it is still hard for me to grasp sometimes, and I’ve had almost nine months of experience with our children.  I’m not saying people are ignorant or stupid, but I’ve heard the most bizarre things when I tell people that Max and Wes were born early.  From “oh, you’re so lucky you didn’t have to be pregnant the whole nine months” (which REALLY pisses me off, by the way) to “is there anything wrong with them?”.  

We were among the lucky ones – Max and Wes, although a little bit behind developmentally and size-wise, are happy and healthy little dudes.  For each “happy and healthy” preemie, there is a preemie out there who is struggling with even the most seemingly insignificant stages of growing older.  For each “happy and healthy” preemie, there is one who wasn’t as lucky.  One who was born too early, too frail, too sick…and taken too soon.

I say it all the time, and I’ll say it again…we are so incredibly blessed.  There are sooooo many things that could have gone wrong when we first discovered that Max’s water sac was protruding from my cervix.  The fact that I was able to keep our precious boys inside me for six weeks after my cerclage was nothing short of a miracle.  I’ll be forever in debt to Dr. Heybourne and the perinatology staff at Pediatrix for helping me do so – as well as my amazing husband, Mom, and friends who cared for me while I was on bed rest.

And the Swedish nurses, neonatologists, and NICU staff are our heroes as well.  I’ll never forget the amazing care that our boys received during their 43 and 51-day stints in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  I’ll never forget the compassion and love Jeff and I were shown while Max and Wes were there.  Those first few months were probably the most stressful, sad, confusing, and worry-filled times in Jeff and I’s lives - but - with the support of the NICU staff, our family, our friends, our respective online communities, and our blog followers – we made it through.  I can’t thank you all enough for that.

Most parents (of full-term or healthy babies) get to bring their newborn children home several days after they are born.  They get that time to bond with their newest family members…to get to know them in a way that only parents can know…and Jeff and I will never know what that’s like.  We got to know our boys through holes cut in the plexi-glass of an isolette (and the 30-40 minutes a day we were “allowed” to actually hold them).  There was almost constantly someone in the room with us, so we never really got any quality family time together until after Max and Wes came home – when they were almost two months old.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be over the “unfairness” of it all.  Being cheated out of my maternity leave (since I spent it all at the hospital), having to be so careful with regards to Max and Wes’s health (especially since being denied for Synagis), and actually being jealous of my friends – and even random strangers – who make it to full-term (yes, this happens…I don’t know why, but it does).  

That said, we are so very lucky.  More to come (in the coming weeks) on prematurity awareness, but for now I’ll leave you with some of the first pictures that were taken of our sweet, sweet little boys.  Look at how far they’ve come…

Maxwell Allen – 8 days old

 Max – 8 months old

Weston Skinner – 8 days old

Wes – 8 months old

Kerry

Despite the desire to have all the coolest baby stuff, I think we both realized that the “Want” (below) is not practical.  Honestly how often would we have ever lugged it around…probably not very much.  And as much as we both like the idea behind the hook on high chairs, you can’t really angle them at all to get a better sitting position for a feeding.  We read everyone’s comments and found that the Fisher Price Healthy Care line of chairs is a popular choice.  So it looks as if we may have decided on this one:

It gets great reviews on a number of sites, mostly 4 and 5 stars, and seems to be really easy to clean.  We are going to pick one up tonight to test it out.  Worst case, we don’t like it and we take it back.  Major upside is the price, at only $27.99.

Does anyone have any experience with this exact one?  Thought or concerns?

If anyone is in for a good laugh (or not) go to the Fisher Price site and take a look at the “Better for Mom” section.  A little sexist maybe?

Jeff

Happy Halloween everyone (a day late)!  Here are a few photos of the most adorable little pieces of produce you’ve ever seen (from a completely biased POV)…

Kerry

We need two highchairs.  Soon.  Actually really soon.

WWYD???  We want HONEST opinions/thoughts from other moms and dads, or anyone really.  And no offense Kristy, but you don’t count because we already know which one you would choose.  =) 

Want…

(Pros – super easy and fast set-up, around 5 lbs each, easy to travel with and store, for kiddos 6 months – 5 years old  //  Con – around $150 each)

vs.

Need…

 (Pros – around 7 lbs each, easy to travel with and store, around $50 each  //  Cons – only good for kiddos up to 3 years old, a little bit more time-consuming to set up) 

Help!!!

K&J

Jeff and I both worked from home today because of the ”big blizzard” (the Denver ‘burbs got anywhere from 16-24 inches of snow over the last 36 hours, or so).  Our nanny lives across town, and we didn’t want her to have to drive all the way over here if we were both going to be home – we figured we could handle taking turns watching Max and Wes. 

Those little stinkers! 

They were having a rough day after this morning, when they got the remainder of their (seasonal) flu vaccinations, and they were fussssssy.  Jeff and I were both completely drained and annoyed and just over it all by mid-afternoon.  After we put Max and Wes to bed, we joked about how much happier and relaxed we are after they are down for the night.  I have to admit that shortly after we were “joking” about that, I realized that it’s true, and then the guilt settled in.  Aaaaah, I was missing my old friend – after all, it had been around 10 hours since I last felt guilty over something related to our boys (don’t ask).

Add to that, the guilt I felt when I was actually annoyed when we heard Weston start crying as we were maybe 15 minutes into Grey’s Anatomy.  I huffed and puffed my way down the stairs, pushed open the nursery door, and found my way (in the dark) over to where I knew he would be laying in his crib.  I bent over, rolled him from his tummy to his back, and gently lifted him out of his crib.  The moment my back straightened up, he immediately stopped crying.

I looked down to see my son’s eyes slowly opening, and then blinking intensely, as if they were trying to look as deep into my eyes as humanly possible.  And he smiled.  He may not have intentionally smiled, but he smiled…and my heart turned into a pile of goo right then and there. 

And there it was.

Perspective.

I grabbed his paci and lovey out of his crib, and carried him back upstairs with me.  Already sleeping soundly in my arms, Wes started snoring the most adorable little snore you’ve ever heard.  So adorable, in fact, that I asked Jeff to grab the video camera so that I could record it (knowing that it was dark, and you wouldn’t be able to see anything, only hear it). 

When we were done watching Grey’s, Jeff went to delete it off our DVR, and I told him not to.  I’m going to have to go back to watch most of it, because I wasn’t paying attention.  I was focusing on the steady rhythm of Wes’s breathing – in and out, in and out, and the sweet sound of that little snore.  That quiet little snore that I’m sure will grow louder and louder as the years go on (and end up being just like his papa’s snore, which by the way I do not find “adorable”, LOL). 

I was reveling in the moment, thinking about how precious these kinds of moments really are, and I was not going to take this time for granted.  There were countless times in the not-so-distant past where I would have done just about anything to hear a child crying in our home – our child – and now we have two.  We are so blessed.  I know one day (in the not-so-distant future) I’ll wake up and wish that I could scoop our little boys into my arms and feel that all is right with the world.  I will not take this time for granted. 

Do Max and Wes test my patience sometimes?  Yes.

Do they make me take my fake little gun to my head and pull the fake little trigger sometimes?  Yes.

Does this mean I love them any less?  No.

I just needed a little bit of perspective.

Kerry

…we had Jeff’s BFF, Josh, and his girlfriend, Peyton, over to watch football, drink mimosas, and cuddle babies last Sunday.  Here are some photos that we took of our motley little crew.

Auntie Peyton and Uncle Josh with Max and Wes

Wes trying to play with Josh's hair - hahahaha!

Max likes pretty girls

Chrome domes

Max had so much fun with P that he fell asleep!

I think Wes is wondering how he has more hair than Daddy's friend

And finally, I couldn’t resist this one…

Awwwww - look how much the besties love each other!

Kerry

I’ve been a little lax on the blog posting, and there’s good reason for that.  I’m pissed off (Dad, you’re lucky I left out the f-bomb in this sentence, I love you!).  Our request for Synagis was denied.  What does this mean?  See this post for a little (long) backstory on what Synagis is, and why it’s important to babies born prematurely.  I knew the request was likely to be denied, and that doesn’t mean that we’re just giving up (I’m in the process of drafting a letter of appeal to our insurance company), but I’m just so damn pissed off.   

The guilt (and anxiety and jealousy that we can’t just live a “normal” life with our family) is making its way back, and that pisses me off, too. 

This news, coupled with the fact that certain people just do.not.understand the importance of keeping Max and Wes as healthy as humanly possible over the next six months, is making me crazy crazier than normal.  So you know what?  If I tell you to wash your hands, or ask you if you are remembering to sanitize when you’re around the boys, following a sneeze or a cough, after you touch a doorknob, whatever – just freaking do it.  Just do it.  It’s not that hard, it doesn’t take much time, and most importantly, it’s for the health and safety of Max and Wes!!!

Most parents who haven’t walked in our shoes don’t get it, and we don’t expect them to.  All we can ask is that our friends and family members respect our wishes and follow our rules to keep our little guys safe and healthy.  We were already cheated out of almost two months of bonding time with Max and Wes (which was especially hard after the struggle we went through to have them).  I don’t know that we are strong enough to go through a potential hospitalization and all of the worry and sadness that would go along with it just because someone “doesn’t get it”.

Kerry

A little over a year ago, I wrote this post after celebrating my nephew, Asher’s, first birthday.  Tonight, we celebrated his 2nd birthday (a few days early), and it couldn’t have been more fun!  When LeAnn decided to do a train theme for Ash’s birthday, I immediately knew I wanted to (attempt to) make his birthday cake.  My friend, Ondrea, had made a similar cake for her son’s 2nd birthday, so she was a HUGE inspiration behind this cake – not to mention she and her son, Ethan, watched the boys while we were at Asher’s party – thanks Ondrea & E!

Asher has been such a huge part of our lives for the last two years, and I just couldn’t be more proud to be his aunt – he really is a CRAZY smart kid.  Like CRAZY smart.  He went “poopy in the potty” the other day – and he’s not even two years old yet!!!  He counted to 13 for me this afternoon, and he knows animals, shapes, colors, letters – AND he can tell Max and Wes apart (most of the time).  I think this is due in large part to Marty and LeAnn, and how they work with him to “use his words” (talk to them to make them understand what he wants/needs) and “use his eyes” (look, but don’t touch).  I can only hope that Max and Wes are as positively affected by Marty and LeAnn’s parenting skills as Asher has been!

Without further adieu, the train cake and inevitable train “wreckage”…

How cute is he?!?!?!??!?!  I could seriously just eat him up.  He even thanked me for making the train cake for him – awwwwwww!!!!

Speaking of cute, here are some photos of Max and Wes that I took today…enjoy!!!

Wes happily playing with Ash's trains

Our big boy standing up (his favey position these days)

Whatchu lookin' at???

Wes and Max making their own train

Kerry